40 Days and 40 Nights x3

Aaron Cohen, a mysterious American about whom I know little, went on a spiritual fast. She fasted three times for 40 days each, with an average of 6 days in between.

Aaron is Jewish, and mother of 7 and said she did it to be closer to God. She’s an inspiring role model to me. Not that I plan on having 7 kids, but her accomplishment of this amazing feat demonstrates her conviction and strength of character.



Although she eats cooked food and meat, she and I are not so different.

I think most people’s perception would be that Aaron neglected the physical in hopes of nourishing the spiritual, but I beg to differ. The human body has fat stores for a reason, to supply the body with energy in times of food scarcity. Humans have access to much more food today than throughout the majority of our history.

According to conventional wisdom on the subject, most people have enough fat stored to fast for between 4-6 weeks. Some people have more or less depending on their body fat percentage.

In relying on her own fat stores for energy for a period of months, she not only released the toxins that were stored in her fat, far away from the essential organs, as the body intends. She also regained many hours in her day that humans spend thinking about and preparing food and directed that energy inward for reflection and strengthening her connection with the divine.

I feel that the raw vegan diet, my food plan of choice, does indeed get me closer to my own spirituality and I am grateful for that.



Going grocery shopping is immensely simple, probably saving me at least an hour a week. Since I am of the low fat, high fruit variety of raw vegans, I need only visit the produce section of the grocery store. I load up my cart with delicious sweets and greens, then make a quick stop to grab a few gallons of bottled water, and I’m good to go.

It’s a beautiful way of eating, and I feel that in doing so I am honoring the beauty and bounty that God provided us with. The tastes are unadulterated because I use no salt or spices. Sweet and fresh fruit makes for sweet and fresh people, in my opinion. I feel that because my palate is not consistently being affected by stimulating foods, I am more present in the moment and more in tune with my body and feelings.



I think Aaron should consider going on a raw food diet. I also think I should consider going on a fast. I don't think I could last as long as she did. First of all, I don’t have a lot of fat stores. Second, I suppose I just don’t have her spiritual conviction. I’m okay with that.

I am going to psych myself up for a fast this winter. I’m unsure of how long it will be for, but I think my health and vitality would reap great rewards.

My Birthday Wish

I have a birthday relevant post to make today. It has to do with life; the nature of the thing, and freedom.

Do we get to experience freedom in life, or only after death are we truly free?

My intuition tells me we can experience true freedom in life. But when I use my intellect, and look around, freedom is hardly what I see. I see a lot of depravity and sickness. I see people in what appears to be uncontrollable situations in which they are at a loss for choices.

I don’t want to surrender to the same.

I’m highly motivated by self expression and felt experience. There is such a long list of things I desire in life. In fact, I’ve been making a list to keep myself focused. The list is 3 pages long, single spaced in a word document and constantly growing.

I want to travel around India, go to a fasting clinic, visit Costa Rica and Thailand, take singing lessons, learn Photoshop, visit a shaman in the Amazon, try homeopathy, reiki and massage, buy organic food and clothing and be free to manage my time as I choose.

All of these experiences are immersion type experiences, things you can’t get anywhere else. I want to sense with all of my senses the joys and pains of these journeys and I feel I won’t be satisfied until I do. As much as I find joy in the present moment, my whole being is attracted to the thrills and trials of exploration.

I’m just not going to accept that life has limits. I refuse to be brought down by other people’s limiting beliefs. I’ve started playing the lottery because it gives me a chance to have my dreams come true. My dreams are so grand, but I have to imagine they’ll all come true

I live my life from the inside out. I don’t want physical things to have power over me; have the power to steal my energy and control my moods. I want to be guided by my instincts and feelings. I want to feel what I want to feel when I want to feel it, think what I want to think when I want to think it, do what I want to do when I want to do it.

I don’t want to be a self-centered wild child, obsessed with brand names and fancy cars, but I do want to behave how I deem appropriate. This is not a girl who is afraid of work, believe me.

I believe needs and wants are closely related, and that wants that are not superficial and come from a place that touch our hearts, are indeed the same as needs. I believe needs are more than simply what is required for survival. There is a hierarchy of their importance which all deserve to be satisfied.



I want to live my life to nourish my soul, not the pocketbooks of others. I don’t want to drag myself around all day doing other people’s bidding just to drag myself into my bed at night thinking how my life is held together so loosely as if with a shoestring.

The universe actually has incentive to give me the winning lottery ticket or endow me with copious amounts of money. I would better serve the world if I wasn’t tied down by the limits of my current life. If I could manage my own time I would spend almost all of it doing things to make the world a better place. I would write a lot and get involved in charities and sustainable living and use my money in ways that best serve the planet.

Ever since starting my new diet, the raw vegan diet, a year and a half ago, my internal world has become crystal clear. I listen to my gut instincts and feel all of my thoughts and feelings with more intensity than ever before. My feelings have become so powerful and sharp, like glass, that they rock me.

I can perceive the reality of my thoughts and the power behind my emotions so much that I’d be willing to take great risks and do whatever it takes for me to free myself from the shackles of the life I’ve been born into.

So, will I be free to immerse my senses in my dreams in this lifetime? Or will I only be free after death? That is my question. I pray and hope and yearn that someday all of the goals on my list will be fulfilled, and I dedicate my current energy to realizing them as quickly as possible while I’m in the flesh.

The Center of the Mandala

man·da·la n
1. A schematized representation of the cosmos, chiefly characterized by a concentric configuration of geometric shapes, each of which contains an image of a deity or an attribute of a deity.
2. (in Jungian psychology) A symbol representing the effort to reunify the self.

Life feels good. I’m on top of all the bid-ness I need to take care of. I wish I had more time for creative endeavors. It seems like every day I come up with an amazing idea that I want to write about and flush out for people. But by the end of most days I’m wiped.

I’m wonder what my little bro and sis must think. I always spin the bright side of the story for them, same as I do for myself, because we all could use more light in our lives. But many days by the end of the day, when it's time to call, I’m just wiped and don’t feel like talking.

It’s nice to know that my cup isn’t just half full anymore. It’s almost all the way full. I have so many great opportunities every single day to express myself.

I’m motivated by self-expression. Almost every action in my life is meant to be an act of self-expression and I get really hot under the collar when I feel I’m being stifled.

I took the VALS-2 Survey, which is a personality test which tests values and lifestyle (thus VALS) and is used in marketing. I’m an Experiencer/Innovator, which means I'm motivated by self-expression. It really couldn’t be any more accurate.



I like it better than the Myers-Briggs model, which I find to be too complex for my interests. Myers-Briggs is traditionally used in the professional world for examining how people work and accomplish goals to form effective teams and work together.

Myers-Briggs characterizes people according to four different aspects:

Attitude-Extroversion(E)/Introversion(I)
Information Gathering Style-Sensing(S)/Intuition(N)
Decision Making Style-Thinking(T)/Feeling(F)
Lifestyle-Judgment(J)/Perception

The other important type of personality test is the Big 5, which is often preferred by academics. It ranks people on five traits:

1. Openness to Experience- general appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, imagination curiosity and variety of experience.

2. Conscientiousness- a tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement.

3. Extroversion- characterized by positive emotions and the tendency to seek out stimulation and the company of others.

4. Agreeableness- a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others.

5. Neuroticism- the tendency to experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety or depression.

We all like personality tests, don’t we? After all, we’re all a bit self centered. We are the center of the mandala after all. Here’s Terence McKenna on the subject:

This one's for Grandpa

Fall is here. Last night I went on a divine bike ride with my main squeeze. It was rather “brisk,” as squeeze said, to put it mildly. This year, the cold just motivates me to get outdoors more. “Oh yea, Nature? You think you can keep me from basking in your glory? I THINK NOT!”

I’m going to be outside as much as possible for as long as I can stand. Probably not all winter, like when there is two feet of snow and the wind whips whole drifts up into your face. Probably not then.

Back in the day people used to freeze to death out here in the prairie. Granted it is mostly GMO corn and soybeans now.

I am getting very excited about the winter fruit and veggies coming into season and also the various festivities that happen during this time of year. My birthday is next Saturday. I’m going apple picking at an orchard with my number one chum, Dustin. I am going to make sure to pick some Honeycrisp, because I’ve been told that they are the best. Even better than Fuji. For someone who gets a stupid grin on their face over Ole’ Granny Smith, I imagine I’m in for a treat.

Dustin turned me onto a folk/bluegrass band, Old Crow Medicine Show. It’s really great music, really and truly. I just don’t know if my heart can handle it. The twanging of the banjo and sad rhythm of a bass, along with stories of my grandfather’s time makes it too much for me.




It makes me sad, partly because it’s always difficult to listen to tales of other people’s suffering, but also because I mourn the fact that those days are gone; simple days of farming, family, friends and being close to the land that sustained it all.

The Great Depression was a devastating time to many folks, and the affluence today makes it well worth having moved forwards. But, when one moves forward, one also has to leave good things behind in your dust.

Those days are long gone, unless I can somehow bring that sort of experience to me in the future. And it all comes back to my growing interest in sustainable communities. But if I were to live in a sustainable community, I don’t imagine I would feel the need to sing the blues.

What’s your favorite bluegrass band?

Wilkommen!

WELCOME TO MY BLOG.

It is shiny and new. I will cherish it and water it with love so that it grows into something beautiful. If you will be my friend, please follow me and help keep me in line and be my companion.

Because the world needs more lovers, does it not? It does. So this is my directive.

I have been listening to the STS9 and Emancipator channels on
Pandora. They have induced spicy solo dance parties, and I could only hope they do they same for you. :)

Since food posts/blogs are all the rage, I shall do the same. Also, because I have an almost fruitarian diet, perhaps it will be of interest to you.

Breakfast: none
Lunch: 2 lb grapes, 6 bananas
Snack: 3 oranges
Din-din: humongoid salad, blended +4dried dates
1 mile jog+3 mile walk. I love the feeling of having all of my cells oxygenated from working out. It always puts a smile on my face. :)

xoxo